Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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