You're completely useless in the revolution.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
