it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
