what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
