Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
My feet surprised me
Randomize
