Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
