i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
