Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
