Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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