i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
