You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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