I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
