i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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