That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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