If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She's the barista slut.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Sext me about skeletons
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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