I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
