You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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