if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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