I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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