1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Randomize
