Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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