How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
