i just google imaged poop.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Randomize
