he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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