He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
