I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
