What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
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