big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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