idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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