Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
