Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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