dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
He passed out mid-signature
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize
