Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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