Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
