I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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