Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
