he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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