Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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