I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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