I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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