btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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