Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
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