yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Randomize
