You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
