I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
