Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
