420 ftw
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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