Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
