Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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