You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
