he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
