Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
