fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Randomize
