just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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